


not enough wars

by MementoMoriPontifexMortis



Series: My H/C_Bingo Prompts [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulbond, Angst with a Happy Ending, Community: hc_bingo, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Forced soulbonding, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Incest, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:16:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MementoMoriPontifexMortis/pseuds/MementoMoriPontifexMortis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone has to do it, and that someone is him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not enough wars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TinyTeddy878](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyTeddy878/gifts).



> First time writing a soulbond AU and this is what it is. Yeah.... Any and all mistakes are my own since I don't have a beta.  
> For my hc_bingo square: forced soulbonding
> 
> Also, this got dark. Pretty damn quickly while still having the overall not too heavy tone.

A bond between souls is ancient - older than the planet. - Dianna Hardy

 

Someone has to do it, Clint thinks, someone has to because that's what Jacques says and while Jacques is a deplorable human being, he wouldn't lie about something like this.

Soulbonding is a once in a lifetime sort of thing and if done wrong, can kill you, if done right, can also kill you, so not many people do it. Not just because of the whole "you might die" issue, but also because the minute you do, your partner can hear your thoughts. It's like a weird invasion of privacy and it's all done in the name of love. It's stupid to Clint, who promised himself that he'd never Soulbond, not after what happened to his mother. But then again, younger him never thought he'd be in this situation. Never thought he'd have to protect Barney.

Jacques wants Barney to do the Soulbond with the Red Room operative that sits across the room, but Barney doesn't want to. Not cause she ain't pretty but because Barney don't do long term, can't do long term, ain't ever wanted to and won't explain anything else but no long term. Not that anyone cares enough to ask (Clint did once, an' Barney didn't speak to him for a week after he wouldn't let it go). Jacques don't care though, and Buck is looking at Barney like he's going to shoot him so Clint steps up.

"I'll do it."

The reason they don't want him is because he's flighty, always has been, where Barney stays with them, Clint will go wandering off. Which is hilarious given that Clint can sit for hours waiting for a mark, while Barney gets antsy standing around for too long. (We look conspicuous, Barney always says in their bed, and boys like us who look conspicuous gets put in prison. Neither one of them wants to go to prison.)

The Red Room lady, the one who brought the pretty girl with the red curls, arches and eyebrow and orders him to strip. Also unlike Barney, Clint has no shame when it comes to his body. He's got scars aplenty, all from some kind of battle he fought; ones against their dad, ones against the circus, ones against everyone, and he's proud of all of them. Ain't got one that don't mean something to him and he ain't gonna be shamed into thinking they're bad. Boys gotta have scars, that's what their dad used to say.

He looks the lady - average height, brown hair, brown eyes, all around forgettable - in the eyes as he undoes his clothing, leaving not a scrap on him. In the background he can hear Barney complaining about this to Buck and Jacqs, but he can also hear their counters. (This needs to be done an' if he ain't gonna do it, then Clint's gonna).

"Hm, the scars?" The lady says, her voice lifting upwards and damn, even her voice is forgettable.

"Kid's got a past."

Ain't we all.

"Hm."

"Look, he has good genes, and that's all you need right?" Buck asks, doesn't even wait for her to answer, "Then one a' the boys will do it for you. They've got strength and they can each hit much smaller things then the broad side of the barn."

No one looks impressed before the woman nods, orders the curly haired girl to get on dressed and then tells Clint to "sit down and don't move". The girl, he don' know her name, no introductions, nods her head ever so slightly and begins to undress. Her shirt is done with first, quickly, before her bra, pants, and panties come off next. The Red Room operative, she looks beautiful and blank, waits for further instructions.

From the corner of his eyes, Clint can see Barney glaring at Jacqs, who got this leer on his face, and for once, Clint's kinda hoping that Barney isn't gonna take a leaf out of his book and make a scene. Even though he would like to be saved, told that he doesn't have to, Clint knows that if Barney was to interrupt, bad things, worse things than the shit their dad gave them, would happen. So, he prays his brother just sit in the background, eyes close, muttering obscenities.

"Natalia, allow him to enter you so that the soulbonding ceremony can commence." Clint's gonna call the lady, 'Pushy' says and Natalia (pretty name, Clint thinks) nods her head before moving to straddle him.

Clint's body reacts the way ones body does whenever it comes across someone who's mildly attractive and it's a disgustin' feeling. She sits on him, allowing him to - elch. He can't even think about it. He's not a virgin, he's had sex before, but that was with someone he knew, someone he trusted and it wasn't about to become soulbonding. She holds herself close to him and in this moment, he can stare at her all he likes.

They're going to be close very very soon, so it's not a crime.

Her fiery brick hair seems to light up the dark room, and her green eyes seem to shine even if they're pretty blank inside. She's a really pretty person, Clint thinks, if she didn't act more like a robot. Her skin is porcelain though, like a dolls, and when she shudders against the cold, he can see little goosebumps appear.

"Hands together." Ah yes, the best part of soulbond, fucking without the ability to hold onto anything but the person you're fucking. There's supposed to be a kiss somewhere in between the fucking, a kiss that actually connects the two people, but obviously that's going to take place right when they are both on the verge of orgasm, at least, according to all the bond books that he's read.

Natalia controls the movement, he keeps himself hard and nothing else, and when he lets his eyes meet hers, he for a moment feels the bond forming. It's odd, the actual feeling of a bond, it's like a fuzzy feeling of waking up drunk without all the fun of actually drinking. She must feel it to because for a moment she falters, as if her brain cannot filter what is going on. It'd be funny if they weren't being forced to do this.

He quirks his lips at her, a quick thing, before they are directed to kiss. Their lips meeting is a hurried thing, neither of them like the idea of kissing, but in the second the bond forms with their kiss and orgasm, there's this moment that seems to last forever. It's got almost indecipherable moments where Clint swears he see himself with Natalia, and they're actually happy. Only problem is Clint can swear he's never seen this girl before in his life.

She feels it too, at least he thinks so because she gives him an arching eyebrow and a tentative hand squeeze, before she softly leans against him. Pushy moves towards them with this devices and runs it over them before giving a satisfied smirk.

"It worked." She says before turning to Jacques and Buck to talk.

Clint doesn't move Natalia, and she doesn't try to leave. The only thing that happens is Barney coming over with new clothing for the both of them. He leaves it on the chair right next to the one they've occupied before he turns away and heads out. Probably to go get something to drink. Barney, for all his love making out and playing handsy, can't even stand the sight of two people going at it. Or maybe it's cause it's his baby brother and some trained assassin from Russia that makes him sick. One day, Clint'll have to ask.

Natalia moves after a few minutes of silence, her body allowing him to slid out easily. For a forced soulbond, it wasn't that bad. Still disgusting and they both feel like whores, but in Natalia's eyes it could be worse. She could be forced to soulbond with someone who's much uglier and older and meaner, like those people that Ms. White is with. Though, she isn't supposed to care - _"Your body belongs to the Red Room,_ \- she can't help but be glad with the person she's got.

"Name?" She asks, and he cocks his head as he pulls a pair of boxers up his legs to block the sight of his ass.

"Clint."

She motions to the door where the red haired male left, "And him?"

"Barney, my brother."

She nods and starts getting dressed herself. There's just a simple shirt and pants waiting for her, though inside the shirt pocket is white sheet of paper with black ink on it saying "meet outside hotel, 0225". She looks to Clint, her soulbond wanting to reach out to touch his mind, but she stops it. They barely know each other and it would be very painful the first time.

"Natalia, you gonna follow?" He asks, his hands - calloused hands - making slow movements towards the door.

She nods once, a concise nod before following him, stowing the note back in the pocket for later. No one will know, she's a master of deception.

Neither of them talks, it's still awkward between them. The fuzziness of a new bond is there and it's like no feeling Natalia has ever felt before, and it bugs her. She hopes this won't affect her training. She hadn't even thought of asking, since she was trained not to ask, but now with the ever edging feeling of another person in her mind, she can't help but wonder.

He must too, else he wouldn't keep turning her way when he thinks she isn't looking. He'd be a horrible spy, she thinks with a small smirk. He's too obvious in his movements, in the way his eyes flit over to her, in the way he looks at her as if he's confused about something.

"What?" She asks, her accent heavy.

He shrugs, "Nothin' I guess, jus' wonderin' when this bond is 'sposed to happen." He's lying. She thinks.

"Is it not already happening?" She asks, and she knows that it must because her accent is bleeding through even more, with nothing she can do. She learned American English years ago and though she doesn't have much use for it in her normal day to day, she still is better at it then him.

"Dunno," He says, "Feels like somethings happening, but can't be sure."

And that something is not only just the fuzziness, which is affecting them both, but also this awful gross feeling of unknowingness. Where she isn't sure if she's really here. The physical effects that a soulbond has is largely undocumented due to the amount of people who can't explain what they think is happening to them because sometimes soulbonds happen accidentally between two compatible people during a moment of heaving passion - at least according to Yelena, who has been apart of the Red Room far longer than Natalia.

Nodding her head, Natalia follows him up to the floor where their rooms are and separates to go to the room that she shares with Ms. White, but is stopped by said woman. She cocks her head but doesn't speak as she waits for an explanation.

"You will sleep with him until your Soulbond is much stronger." She says, her tone brooks no argument, not that she would get one from Natalia, but still. Her handler must be tough so as to keep Natalia from failing.

She gives one small nod and then heads over to where Clint is standing, a room key held in his hand. She looks at him and he opens the door, letting her in first before himself. It's a Spartan hotel room, just like the one she's been in with Ms. White, but it seems smaller. Probably because it seems like everyone is waiting for them to copulate endlessly so the bond can form nice and proper. Though that isn't going to happen, not between her and Clint. It just feels incomplete.

Forced.

Still, she opts to let him bathe first, since it is his bedroom and she acts polite to him throughout the time before they both decide to lay down. Not that they sleep, still too weird to. They don't talk either, not until it's close to midnight and she hears Clint cough.

"What's your favorite color?" He asks, his voice quieter than she could ever make hers.

She thinks for a moment, "I think I like the color blue, it is like the sky."

"Purple, but not like the obnoxious purple." He says without prompt. "Favorite season?"

"Winter." There is no reason she will give him.

"Summer."

"Favorite weapon?"

He smirks, "My bow."

"My thighs."

In the dark he makes a face that she just barely makes out, before she asks "Weaknesses?" since it's something she needs to know if they will be joined. If the Red Room uses him like a partner for her.

"Barney."

"Water."

They fall quiet, but yet she still hears him, not just in his breathing, which is barely audible, but in her mind. He's edging there, waiting for her to let him come in and she does. It's a floodgate, emotions from him flood her as his past comes down on her in waves. She hears screaming, screeching noises and she wonders where that horrible noise is coming from until she realises that it's her. She's screaming from the weight of all his memories, all his emotions unlocking parts of her that she barely remembers anymore. Though through the haze of the pain, she acknowledges that no one comes to the door. No one comes to check on them.

Well there have been cases of people dying after performing the Soulbonding ceremony and this is probably why.

(Somewhere else she can acknowledge that she hears him groaning and moaning in pain, that the connection gave him her past and memories and muted emotions but with her screaming she can barely pay any attention to him at all).

She needs to shut it down, but all her training fails, nothing works since these are not her emotions, she has no back up plan. She cups her head in her hands, holds onto her skull like it's going to burst - which it might - when she hears the sliding glass door open. She had missed it, thought it was a window and failed to check. Too much has been going on if she's even failing at doing her job.

"Hey, hey, calm down." Gentle voice, quiet and unassuming. "Hey focus on me, not on him. Let go of your head and try to ground yourself."  
  
She does, though slowly. Natalia focuses on the shirt in front of her, nothing over zealous, just a plain off white shirt - most likely off white by design, not dirt. She focuses on the calming breathes and the strong arms and she doesn't let her mind wander back to a memory that is not hers about being held this way after the loss of hearing in a barn with hay and a bottle of whiskey on the ground. She doesn't let her memory go to holding onto someone in the dark of the night while holding a old dish towel to the face to hold off the blood.

The voice moves away from her, even with her fingers in a vice grip on the shirt, and towards Clint who sits in a corner. More soothing words, things that a parent or lover would say, before movement towards the small bathroom. It's quiet, and she focuses all her attention on him - _Barney,_ she hears Clint say over and over again, that's his name. He's not doing much, just simple things, two washcloths that are damp with cold water, careful gentle words that calm the pain. He's like a balm to a wound that has been left to fester, one that has had salt placed on it to maximize the pain and it is welcomed. Very welcomed.

"Hey, look at me, pay attention to me, both of ya," Barney says, his voice as calming as he can make it. Clint looks up at him almost immediately, but Natalia takes a moment before her green eyes are on him. "We're going to take this slowly, just really slowly. Okay?"

They nod at him, short ones cause they're too busy trying to block out the pain. Barney knows this, knows this too well. They jus' gotta pay attention to one thing, one thing and they'll be fine. Mostly.

He places the washcloths on their heads, and deigns to handing them some kind pain medication, knowing that it won't work. Knowing, knowing, knowin'. "Jus' let them stay on the head fo' a little." It'll calm the brain, kinda. At least it'll act as a placebo effect.

He watches them, keeps his body language non-threatening for Natalia, and keeps quiet. He won't give them undue stress, yet. The clock ticks by, they slump back after an hour of sitting far away from each other. By time it's been two hours, they've moved closer.

It's said that if you are closer to your Soul-bonded in physical proximity than the forming telepathic connection hurts less but Barney knows different. Knows in truth the only thing that stops the pain is numbing it with alcohol and the act of having more sex. (Knows that only the alcohol has the real effect of getting rid of the pain, of the memories in your mind that don't belong to you, of the dirt that the bond makes you feel like. Only romantics do the bond, no one who's actually lived a life wants to bond, no one.)

"Barney, it hurts." Clint moans and it takes all he has inside of him not to punch Jacques and Buck in the face. Everything inside. He nods though, more nodding.

"I know, Clint, just focus on me." He says soothingly, "Both of ya focus on me. Focus on me." They do, twin gazes of blue-gray and green pin him with a look, waiting for him to say something that will get rid of the pain, waiting for him to say something important. "You both just have to breath, and focus on something else and the pain will go away."

"How do you know?" Natalia asks, her voice a deadly, beautiful weapon in the dark of the room.

Images flash in Barney's brain, images of a dark room in their old house in Waverly, of hands touching, of being told what to do, of faces he told himself never existed. He closes his eyes against the images, make sure the block is up from him and Him. "I jus' do," is how he answers. She gives him a sharp look before curling even deeper into herself.

Hours pass in silence, Barney trying to make sure those memories of his stay buried in the recess of his mind, when he gets up. They've had adequate amount of time to adjust and if they don't leave now, they'll be stuck here forever. He stands, his feet secure and he begins lurking around the room, picking up Clint's duffle and grabbing the things his baby brother took out. Neither of the newly bonded look at him until he's done.

"Up," He says voice low. "We gotta go."

"Go?" Natalia asks, "Go where?"

Barney frowns, "Don' ya realize what they plan on doing with both of you? Why they didn' sterilize you like they did the others?"

No she hadn't, at least, he didn't think she did because her face tells him nothing. Though, her body language tells him that she's shocked that he knows what the final test is for her people. "Wha? Barney?" Clint says, his voice showing lack of emotions.

"They're gonna breed both of ya." Barney hisses, letting the pair of eyes widen in shock, "They're gonna breed ya and continue doing that until they've got a perfect blend of genes. Then they're gon' separate you guys and you'll never see each other again."

"Why?" Natalia asks in the silence, "Wouldn't we be stronger as a pair?"

Shrugging, he answers, "Maybe, but you ever see a male Red Room operative?"

No she hadn't cause there weren't any.

Natalia, smart as a whip, gets up quicker than he's ever seen anyone do so and moves about the room, making sure the door is locked and she takes the things from the bathroom and drops them in the bag. She moves slowly, deftly, and continues to do so until everything that will be important to travel is taken. "We move now?"

"Yeah," Barney nods his head, "Come on Clint, we gotta go baby."

A flash in her eyes at him, probably a memory of Clint's, before she hurries herself in getting her shoes back on. Clint follows along with them, getting dressed as quickly as possible before he meets them at the glass doors. Both of them look back at the room, but Barney knows that they aren't looking at the room, they're looking through the rooms to their respective mentors, to their past. In their minds, there's probably thoughts of what they've learned, things that they don't want to forget, but they trust Barney more.

(Natalia trusts him because the memories aren't lying about how close Clint and his brother is.)

(Clint follows because Barney's never led him wrong before, and he trust his brother to not lead him wrong this time.)

(Barney just needs to protect Clint and if that means protecting Natalia, then he'll do it. He needs to protect the only thing in his life that makes sense anymore.)

Once outside - down the pipe, be careful now, don't want to drop - Barney motions for them to follow him and they do. Heading down a street that will take them somewhere safer than here, Barney says, "I have a safe house in Bucharest, we're heading there."

"Bucharest?" Clint asks, his voice soft, "When did you go to Bucharest?"

"Years ago," He answers, not turning around, his mind going back to when they had just started out in the circus and Jacques sent him with some man to Bucharest to do something that resulted in a lot of money for the older carnie and a lot of bruises for Barney. He doesn't tell any of this to Clint though, his baby brother doesn't have to know any of this. Shouldn't know any of this, and won't know any of this.

Barney leads them to a car. A plain white sedan with out of country plates and gets in without even slowing down, it's an impressive thing if he does say so himself, and he does. He unlocks the doors, lets them in and starts it all under a minute, leaving them to drive away towards the rising sun. They'll ditch the car in the next city, and continue doing so until they're safe.

He looks into the back, where both Clint and Natalia sat down in, and smiles. Curling into each other, they have found comfort and may it last. They won't just have Swordsman and Trickshot and the Red Room after them anymore, once the news that Hawkeye and Black Widow has left their respective affiliations breaks, there will be more people trying to track them down than there is sand in the desert.

Barney'll protect them though, always will protect both of them. "Clint, Natalia, we'll stop for food tomorrow morning, any problems with tha'?" He asks. He knows the last time Clint ate but Natalia is a mystery wrapped in a shroud of darkness for him.

"It is fine," Natalia answers before she pauses, "And it is Natasha for you two. Natasha."

Barney nods, notices that Clint wraps his hand in Natasha's and leans against her. They might not be ready for a romance, but they're both working with what they have. And what they have is a messed up soulbond, a broken ex-carnie older brother, and enough problems between them to fill up the seven seas. Still, it's theirs, as fragile as it is right now. 

**Author's Note:**

> (Anyone notice my Clue mix-in? No, good.)
> 
> Comments and Kudos extremely welcomed.


End file.
